He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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