fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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