I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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