why didn't you poke me back
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
