Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just pee around me
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
