We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
whose parrot is this?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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