Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think my vagina is haunted
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
