i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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