Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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