You're my little dorito
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
