Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I could make wine with my vomit
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
