Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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