yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
