I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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