I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
tell me about the eggs
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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