No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
