the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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