Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
