Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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