We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
