I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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