Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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