Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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