Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
