one two three fourrrrnication!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
