I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
