yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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