Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
