Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Let's paint friendship bongs
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
