I wish I could punch you in the face.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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