is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
