"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize