Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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