oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
