So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
