...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
