the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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