Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
