u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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