I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
