i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
