The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
