she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
