Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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