i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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