Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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