I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Holy sore nipples Batman
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
