I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
