Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
