his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
