: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
