I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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