my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
